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alt.books.m-lackey FAQ, Part 1
This is part 1 of the Mercedes Lackey FAQ, covering topics specific to
alt.books.m-lackey. Part 2 covers
topics specific to Mercedes Lackey.
Both are posted monthly to
alt.books.m-lackey.
Contents of Part 1:
1. Proper Behavior On
alt.books.m-lackey (Acceptable Use
Policy)
a. Spoiler Warnings
b. The PG-Rating
c. The Mad, Galloping Topic
Drift
d. Flames
e. Cross-Posting
f. SPAM
g. Trolls
2. Geography
a. The Ogre, Elf, Imp and Urchin
b. The Forest
c. The Library
d. The Hall of Memories
e. All the rest
3. In Jokes and ABML Cultural Tidbits
a. Copper's POINT Game
b. The Spelling of Innosent
c. The Trial of Fluffy
d. Firesong
e. Puns
f. Personas
g. Flying Food
h. The Literality Cloud
i. Salv9
j. The Family Site
k. The Recipe Site
l. The DSPCABML and the Brute
Squad
m. The Kinkies
n. Pedantry
o. Gods and Goddesses
p. *Bob*
q. The F's
r. The ABML Out of Practice Band
(ABMLOOPB)
s. The ABML No Can Sing Choir
(ABMLNCSC)
t. Bruce (not that one, the
other one) and feeted pajamas
u. Storytime
v. The Bookwurm and Bookwyrm
4. Anything Else?
1. Proper Behavior On
alt.books.m-lackey (Acceptable Use
Policy)
Welcome!
As you may have observed, ABML is a
free for all. Everyone is
encouraged to participate or lurk,
whichever you prefer or have
time for. Beware the 4 F's: Fluffy,
Firesong, 'Fiend and
Flying Food.
We begin with the necessary evil, the
general rules or
traditions on this group (fun stuff is
further down):
a. Spoiler Warnings, and the
appropriate page or two of
spoiler space, are strongly encouraged
for the first year
or two after a particular book is
published.
There are two reasons why the use of
spoiler warnings is encouraged.
1) Because not everyone can afford to
buy their books in
hardback. 2) Because ML's books are
published in the U.S. first,
members of ABML who live in other parts
of the world do not
have easy access to them, and often have
to wait a year or more to
get them in their own countries.
So, in the interests of our many
members who do not have easy
access to all of Misty's books or can
not afford to buy the hardback
version, it is group tradition that we
insert spoiler warnings
and spoiler space when making reference
to books still in
hardback or less than a year old.
b. We try to maintain a PG-Rating on
postings to our newsgroup.
Usenet is wide open to people of all
ages and cultural backgrounds,
and we would like as many of those
people as possible to feel
comfortable and safe in our little
corner of the 'Net.
(History note: This used to be a
G-Rating, but we kept having
to lock the poor dear in a padded cell
with some Barney videos
to calm it down. Eventually, in early
spring of 2000, it mutated.)
c. Beware Mad Galloping Topic Drift.
We try to rename threads as
they change topics but it doesn't always
work. So remember that the
title of a message may not always relate
to its content.
d. Our newsgroup is proud to say that
we have been successful at
maintaining a Flame Free zone on Usenet.
Disagreement will arise, but
as mature people, we prefer to settle
our differences intelligently.
e. We discourage the use of
cross-posting, and will report
cross-postings that are not truly
relevant to all the newsgroups
posted to, or messages that are
cross-posted to more than three
newsgroups. We regret having to do
this, but long experience
has shown that most cross-posted
messages are SPAM or from trolls.
f. SPAM, whether advertisement or
hate, is not allowed on
alt.books.m-lackey. Anyone spamming
alt.books.m-lackey
should expect to receive letters of
disapproval to their account
and a copy of the errant text sent to
their system administrator
or ISP.
A working but not complete definition
of SPAM - Any unsolicited
advertisement posted to one or more
newsgroups without the prior
permission of the groups in question.
g. Trolls. We explicitly mention
trolls because they persist
in believing we welcome their
attentions. We do not.
Generally, troll postings are easily
identified by their
tone, which is usually either hateful or
argumentative,
and frequently can be classified as
SPAM. As with SPAMmers,
we will report trolls to their system
administrator or ISP.
Other than these, just about anything
goes. Please remember, at the
other end of any post is a human being.
2. Geography
a. The Ogre, Elf, Imp and Urchin
Tavern and general hang-out, food
fight, meet 'n' greet place
located somewhere in ABML. Go <------>
thataway and you'll
find it. Run by the Ogre (Tristaan) and
the Elf (Amethyst).
The Imp (Charis) and Urchin (Natalia)
are their daughters.
They serve authoroholic drinks; the
Misty/Pterry mixer
is particularly popular.
A more complete description is at
http://home.earthlink.net/~m_thomas3/abml/ogreelfbar.txt
b. The Forest
Forms a large portion of the ABML
landscape. The Forest is
abode and domain of Lord Gyre, the
Forest Lord.
c. The Library
Contains, of course, all the books
ever written. (Whether or
not you can locate the book you want is
the catch,
though the orangutan librarians do _try_
to organize it.)
Bookwurm is the Librarian.
d. The Hall of Memories
A Hall full of rooms, exhibits, etc,
to commemorate whatever
the members of ABML wished commemorated.
e. All the Rest
We also have hot tubs (water or hot
chocolate, your choice),
a non-denominational chapel just off the
Ogre, Elf, Imp and
Urchin, a meditation garden, a huge
number of old party sites...
3. In Jokes and ABML Cultural Tidbits
a. Copper's POINT Game
From Beldin:
"Beldin stands and starts to speak,
"Well .... Errr ....
That is .... Ummm ... See, it's like
this. When someone
posts a comment .... no, we'll do this
the other way round.
When someone reads a comment which they
find particularly
amusing, ( and normally after the coffee
/ coke / sprite
etc has been cleaned off of the monitor
), they award a
POINT !!! to the person who posted the
message. Anyone can
award a point. Anyone can receive a
point < even Trolls
and Politicians ;) >. The first person
to reach 21 ( why
21? - I don't know! ) is deemed to have
won the game.
Occasionally the winner of a game will
elect to receive
negative points in the following game,
so that they can't
win twice in a row, but still can be
rewarded for their
comments. There, clear as mud < G >."
Vicki adds that 21 is usually the
winning number because
that was what she used when she ran the
first POINT game.
Scorekeeper (the job rotates around
among ABML members) keeps
count of how many POINTs everyone earns.
Scorekeeper has
jurisdiction over the fine points of the
game (which is to
say, everything), including when it
starts and ends and
at what point total, what POINTs are
valid, whether duplicate
POINTs for the same post all count, etc.
Shortly after November 17, 2001, what
had been simply
The POINT Game was renamed Copper's
POINT Game in order
to honor Copper Squirrel. Copper
Squirrel (Charles
Martel) was a steady member of ABML for
many years,
notorious for posting jokes and puns, as
Copper and
occasionally as Copper's Evil Twin,
Skippy the Brass
Squirrel. He thereby won many POINT
games. He died
on November 17, 2001. Extra-special,
extra-good,
extra-funny posts can earn a
"COPPER"/"COPPER POINT"
instead of a regular point. It is, as
always, at the
Scorekeeper's discretion to determine
how, or if, COPPER
POINTs count differently from normal
POINTs.
b. The Spelling of Innosent
The word that that means the opposite of
guilty is never spelled
correctly on ABML. It's just against
the rules. (See The
Trial of Fluffy for more information.)
We aren't
innerook, and we don't want to be
corrupted by it...
Virtually any spelling of that word
is acceptable, as long
as it is not the original, correct,
spelling. Common variations
include: innosent, innoskant, innosook,
etc etc etc.
c. The Trial of Fluffy
Sometime in 1997, Captain Silkfur
McFluffy was put on trial.
It was a famous trial.
Simon, who was a member of ABML at
the time, said,
"The accused, one Captain S. McFluffy,
was mainly charged with being a
Male Chauvinist Pig, and biting Kyrrha's
tail.
I don't think we actually ever *held*
the trial as such, we just spent
a long time preparing for it, and
inventing 'creative' punishments.
One of the preparations was, of course,
selecting a jury. It was
established early in the proceedings,
and heartily endorsed by the
accused, that no person capable of
spelling the i-word was eligible
for jury duty.
The continuing reluctance toward
spelling *that* word correctly is
presumably explained by people's
unwillingness to disqualify
themselves should the trial ever
resume."
d. Firesong
It has been reported - by Firesong,
quite frequently -
that we are all figments of Firesong's
imagination.
It has also been reported that his
voice can melt socks. Test
this on yours by going to
http://www.firesong.demon.co.uk/
and clicking on "My Diary", then
"Message of the Moment".
e. Puns
We like 'em. We indulge in long threads
full of excessively bad
ones. Beware. (Or, join in and see if
you can do any worse.)
f. Personas
Misty does not publish as frequently as
she used to, and we use
various means to pass the time between
books, since the regulars
have pretty much hashed out their own
opinions on all her works.
Some of us build personas. Dragons and
wizards and ogres and
rabbits and... Everything and anything,
not necessarily - or
even usually - from M. Lackey's books.
You are welcome to
create one, too. Or not, as you choose.
g. Flying Food
It doesn't actually fly, you know. It's
usually launched.
Launch back, if you like. (Or run and
hide.) Over the years,
a wide variety of exotic weaponry has
evolved during food fights;
I am not brave enough to attempt to
catalogue it all. If
someone refers to something that sounds
like it might be
vaguely useful in a food fight, that's
probably where it
came from.
h. The Literality Cloud
Sometime in summer of 1999, it was noted
that
statements made in the vicinity of Woof,
an ABML member, tended
to have unintended side effects. There
appears to be a magical
cloud surrounding her, which interprets
any statements made in
its vicinity rather literally... beware,
beware, lest ye be
smacked upside the head by it. Or
drowned in drink. Or...
i. Salv9
Sometime during the winter of 1999-2000,
a character going by a
pseudonym easily shortened to Salv9
posted a number of highly
anti-Semitic and misinformed essays to
many newsgroups, including
ABML. A number of our members took
pleasure in point by point
rebuttals of his essays and his
responses to their rebuttals.
He is long gone. However, his memory
has lingered in the form of
various Salv9 toys that get thrown
around in food fights and such.
They first sprang into existance during
his second visit
to ABML. Captain Fluffy, like a cat at
a mousehole, is still
waiting for him to visit again...
Saying a particular poster is like
Salv9 is a quick way to
identify that poster as a troll or
spammer of a particularly vicious
kind. (If one is looking for a
technical rule to use in
reporting the troll to an ISP, such
people almost universally
violate the no-flames ABML rule.)
j. The Family Site
http://www.myfamily.com/ contains an
ABML family site. Contact
Tristaan for a membership.
k. The Recipe Site
Tristaan maintains a WWW site collection
of the food recipes
periodically posted to ABML by members.
There is a noticeable
emphasis on desserts, particularly
cheesecakes, thanks to
Boookwurm. Yummy!
<Site down temporarily>
Cheesecakes of the Month: For
reasons known only to herself (and
perhaps not even then), The Bookwurm
posts a recipe on or
about the first of each month. They
used to all be cheesecakes,
but the emphasis has broadened in recent
years. The recipes
are collected and posted on the ABML
family site and/or Tris' own
personal site.
l. The DSPCABML and the Brute Squad.
(contributed by Simon)
The Divine Society for the Protection
and Care of ABML-ers was
instituted to assist any ABML-er in the
struggle against the dreaded
Real Life Monster in cases where the
traditional Whacks With A Tightly
Rolled Newspaper don't do the trick.
Given the abundance of Gods of
This, That and the Other in ABML, it was
felt that soliciting the
patronage of mere royals would be, well,
slumming.
Founder, chairman and treasurer of the
DSPCABML'ers was Simon, whose
contribution consisted mainly of some
Policy Announcements, long term
endurance testing of the Official Office
Couch; its enforcement arm is
the Community Relations Department,
better known as the Brute Squad,
headed by Tristaan.
m. The Kinkies
At some point in the tumultuous history
of ABML, the kinkies
were born. I believe that chocolate and
hot tubs were
involved. They are small and fuzzy,
very fast, and they are
very, very interested in the human
activity which we do not
talk about too explicitly lest we offend
the PG-Rating. They
swarm after anyone who so much as hints
that they are talking
about It. Very curious beings, kinkies
are. Unless you speak
rashly, and consequently drown in living
tide of curious
kinkies, they are fairly harmless.
Mostly.
n. Pedantry
From Bookworm, Queen of Pedants:
"Pedantry: Any grammar/spelling/etc.
corrections are required to be
submitted by licens/ced pedants. (There
are a few officially
*unlicens/ced* pedants, but they are
hunted down, unless their
unofficial legal counsel submits the
appropriate forms.) Pedant
licens/ces (of various types) are issued
by the Bureau of Pedantry,
the operating hours of which are
*clearly* posted on the official
bulletin board. The Bureau has an
official window where forms are
provided, reviewed for accuracy and
completeness, and validated for
periods of time to be determined by the
appropriate authorities. (The
window can be easily identified by the
queue of dusty applicants.) Or
not, at the whim of the Queen of
Pedants."
o. Gods and Goddesses (contributed by
Woof)
Many members of ABML have adopted
titles of "God" or "Goddess"
of various functions, including, but not
limited to, the various
seasons, the Kinkies, Chocococococolate,
Libraries, Cheesecake,
etc. For a semi-complete list of
almost-current titles, see
http://home.earthlink.net/~m_thomas3/abml/godlist.txt
p. *Bob* (contributed by *Bob*...
with Tristaan acting as medium)
*Yeah, can't forget about me. I'm a
poltergeist who was originally
introduced by Jenwon. I love to tinker
with gadgets (especially
blenders) and cats make a nice snack...
did I say that? Anyways, when
Jenwon, due to strong pressures from the
RL beastie, had to leave, I
found my niche with Tristaan. He's got
GREAT gadgets.*
(Jenwon's contribution)
"Hmmm...*Bob*'s history is rather
odd...he actually originated at a
radio-controlled car race track where my
family used to race every
weekend. Everytime something went wrong
during a race, I would joke
that it was my poltergeist Bob acting up
again. It was inevitable
that *Bob* would come to ABML with me,
especially since I always
needed help with my teenage escapades in
ABML. <whisper> I also
needed someone to help get around Mummy
Az's restrictions on sharp
objects."
q. The F's
The number of F's one needs to beware
has varied. Flying Food
remains fairly constant, but others come
and go. At various
times, newcomers have been warned about
FiX, Fluffster,
Firesong, 'Fiend...
r. The ABML Out of Practice Band
(ABMLOOPB)
Some members of ABML are remarkably
talented in musical
matters, and our patroness is a noted
lyricist in filk
circles.
For the rest of us, there is the
ABMLOOPB. If, once
upon a time, you knew how to play, yet
now you
only make instruments weep, ABMLOOPB is
for you.
(Not weep in a good way. Weep in
despair, weep in
dismay, weep in horror.) If your eyes
light up at
the sight of the instrument you once
learned,
yet your friends unaccountably conspire
to keep you
(far, far, FAR) away from it, ABMLOOPB
is for you.
If, when you haul your old instrument
out for a
reunion, the local cats caterwaul and
the dogs dive
under the bed, ABMLOOPB is for you!
Some of ABML's musicians, delighted
to join a band, any
band, and neglecting to read the fine
print for ABMLOOPB,
joined the ABMLOOPB before realizing
they were not
qualified because they can actually play
their instruments.
Not a problem! Musicians need simply
pick an instrument
they always meant to learn. For those
with true musical
talent, we recommend something with lots
of strings or
holes, found only in remote corners of
far-off lands.
Or giving the instrument to the local
nursery school for
"tuning" before ABMLOOPB practice.
s. The ABML No Can Sing Choir
(ABMLNCSC)
The loyal accompaniment to the
ABMLOOPB is the ABMLNCSC,
a choir for those who always wanted to
join a choir, but
whose choirmasters inexplicably
contracted the flu before
each audition.
If, when you begin to sing, your
family gives you money
to stop, your friends pass you strong
drinks and your
children beg your spouse to to gag you,
ABMLNCSC may
be for you. If people threaten to
cancel birthday
parties unless you promise not to join
in the pre-cake
song, and radio volume knobs swoop
clockwise when you
open your mouth, ABMLNCSC may be for
you. If you
frequently hear the old line, "sing
solo, sing so low we
can't hear you", ABMLNCSC may be for
you. If dogs howl
and neighborhood cats prowl amorously by
when you sing,
ABMLNCSC may be for you.
(The FAQ Keeper thanks those members
of the ABMLNCSC who
contributed personal anecdotes to put in
this description.
Names have been removed to protect the
guilty.)
t. Bruce (not that one, the other
one) and feeted pajamas:
ABML Welcome messages frequently
mention Bruce (not
that one, the other one), who will
generously collect
whatever shreds of sanity the newcomer
may still have
(however small!) and knit a nice set of
feeted pajamas out
of them. Bruce frequently styles
himself an oldster
in the corner, gathering dust. He comes
and goes from
ABML, but his knitted pajamas are here
to stay.
Feeted pajamas are worn for Storytimes.
The "that one" in parantheses is
Bruce the snowcat.
An entirely different Bruce. When here,
he's
more visible since he's large, and a
snowcat. Smart
beings never fail to note the presence
of anything
with many claws and teeth. Bruce the
snowcat
is not to be confused with Bruce the
kind knitter
of feeted pajamas.
u. Storytime
On happy and fortunate occasions for
ABML assembled, someone
holds a Storytime. ABMLers gather
around, wearing their
feeted pajamas (see "Bruce and feeted
pajamas"), and clutching
whatever items of cozy comfort they
prefer. (Popcorn,
cocoa and stuffed animals frequently
appear.) There is a
special area in the OEI&U dedicated to
Storytimes, equipped
with seating for the wide variety of
ABML denizens.
Storytime posts tend to be longer
than usual, and contain
the tale of... something. A vacation, a
bit of fiction, an
interesting incident that happened
occurred on the way to
school today, the tale of the time
great-uncle Mort met a
muskrat in a mud puddle... a story.
v. Bookwyrm and The Bookwurm
In case you're wondering, yes, they
are two separate women.
Not to be confused with each other, or
referred to by the
other one's name.
As The Bookwurm says:
"She's she and I'm me and that's pretty
much it."
But Bookwyrm expands with:
"Well.....
Bookwyrm lives in Minnesota, is the
senior 'wyrm and
does *not* spell her name with The.
The Bookwurm lives in Washington state,
is the junior
'wurm and *does* spell her name with
The.
That just about covers it. They have
absolutely *no*
problem telling each other apart!"
4. Anything Else That You Can Think
Of?
Think something else should be here?
Let me know.
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